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Written at 2:48 am on Jan. 26, 2005
I realize how long its been since i visited this place. I guess i havent had a chance, or maybe I'm just getting past this place, who knows.
to get things up to speed, I now have my own lovely house, 2 lovely dogs, and flowers everywhere. Well, i guess thats only the half truth, I live in a house with 2 room mates and they have dogs, and i just got my appendix removed which accounts for the 2 rather lonely boquets of flowers. however i am off and running on my own with a job in which they cant live without me, and a a house which is partially my own. things are pretty good.
Im jones'in for a relationship, starting to get lonely. i want a new love, but the possibility of a relationship seems so miniscule. Being out there, on my own feet, and in the world, it doesnt make since how people develope meaningful relationships. It seems like all the guys i meet are just looking for a blow-job without consiquinces, no guy seems like they actually want someone to hold at night, someone who will love them for longer than one hot night. it seems rather hopeless really. i loved the stage with K2 when i felt completely comfortable. When i didnt feel like i needed pounds of makeup or the cutest clothes, but i could wear his boxer shorts and an old t-shirt with my hair up in a bun and he would love me just the same. I want that back again, but with someone perfect. thats not to much to ask for, is it?